


You came my way and I knew a storm could come too

by hllfire



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies), X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Western, Angst with a Happy Ending, Charles Has Issues, Fluff, M/M, Mentioned hanging, Mentioned/Implied Mpreg, Old West, Smut, Trans Charles Xavier, Vaginal Sex, binding, please read the notes for more more cws
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 11:21:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27969752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hllfire/pseuds/hllfire
Summary: Erik is an outlaw who hides constantly in Charles' barn with the man's permission to do so. Charles offers Erik to stay, but Erik never does.
Relationships: David Haller & Charles Xavier, Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier
Comments: 27
Kudos: 129





	You came my way and I knew a storm could come too

**Author's Note:**

> CONTENT WARNINGS:  
> \- Charles is trans and has not transitioned in anyway, he uses binding.  
> \- There will be sex involved, as the smut tag says, and there'll be mentioned Mpreg. If that triggers your dysphoria, please don't read or go in with care. The Mpreg is only mentioned and not shown, but it's better to be careful.  
> \- There'll be mentions of Charles not happy with his body and dysphoria.  
> \- Although in this Charles wears bandages as a binder, DO NOT bind your chest with bandages, it's incredibly damaging.  
> \- This is written by a transmasc person and depicts an experience that I am okay with and can relate with, and I am aware it doesn't depict other's experiences. Please respect my view on this.
> 
> So, a thing about this story: It wasn't supposed to be 10k. Half of the plot in it wasn't supposed to exist but of course I was once again enabled to do it and I ended up with a 10k oneshot of Trans Charles Cowboy Edition ™.  
> The idea came once I saw fanart for western au on tumblr but ended up putting my spin to it, and with Steph's help I ended up creating this, which I'm very proud of if I'm honest.  
> Hope you guys like it! ❤️

The night was cold as Erik got himself comfortable on the hay of the small barn, wondering once more why he hadn't taken the offer Charles gave him of sleeping on a comfortable bed in the main house of the farm.

_ Because it can be a trap, _ Erik reminded himself.  _ He could hand you in to the sheriff at any moment. _

Deep down, Erik knew Charles wouldn't. He had many chances before, one just earlier that afternoon when the sheriff — a gruff man with a face of someone who didn't have that many friends named James "Logan" Howlett — came by the farm asking for Erik. The outlaw had been hiding close to them as Howlett started his interrogation on Charles, who just smiled and answered everything with that british charm that sometimes annoyed Erik more than he could explain.

"Your farm is the only one on this path, bub." the sheriff had said, and Erik narrowed his eyes at how friendly he always was to Charles. "Lehnsherr couldn't have gone that far. Are you sure you or one of your kids didn't see anything weird?"

Charles didn't have kids, not of his own at least, but his farm was full of kids and young adults who worked for Charles and who he took under his wing. Some of them, Erik learned, were thieves before Charles gave them a home and something to work on. All of them had said that the life there was peaceful and they owed Charles that peace. 

"We haven't seen anything or anyone, but I'll be sure to warn you if I do, Logan."

The sheriff didn't seem convinced, but he didn't seem too inclined to argue with Charles, and soon he was back on his horse and leaving Charles' lands after Charles invited him to stay for dinner, which he refused. Charles had smiled at Erik after, saying he was safe now and that dinner would be served shortly. 

"Why did you invite him for dinner?" Erik had asked, suspicious. Charles only gave him a nonchalant shrug.

"If I didn't he would think it suspicious. I always invite Logan in."

Now, in the barn that Erik was becoming more than familiar with, he wondered if he could manage to go over to the main house and get some of the leftovers from dinner, maybe escape the cold a little bit, although he doubted he would have much success with Charles' sister, Raven, there. She had beaten him before when he tried to steal food, and he was sure she would do it again.

Before he could even make a decision, however, the door to the barn opened, making Erik jump a little bit to see who was coming and only calming down when he noticed Charles walking in, his face calm as always as he carried what looked like blankets in his arms.

"It's colder tonight," Charles explained quickly after seeing Erik's startled expression. "I thought you'd like something to get yourself warm since you refuse to take a bed."

Erik didn't say anything, watching Charles approach him and offer him the blanket, nodding his thank you and taking the warm fabric in his hands. Charles smiled a bit at it.

"Are you sure you don't want to go inside the house, Erik?" Charles tried again, his voice and offer sounding tempting to Erik's ears as the hay poked his skin through his clothes. "It can't be comfortable for you to sleep in a lump of hay…"

"It's enough." Erik's voice was rough from the time he spent without saying anything that day, his dry throat not helping it much. "I'm fine here."

"If you say so."

Erik expected Charles to leave him after that, but was surprised to see him sitting down by his side on the hay, sighing tiredly. Erik frowned at him, not expecting the company, and Charles only looked at him with interested eyes.

"Where are you going after tonight? You can't stay in the city considering Logan is very much focused on finding you and I'm pretty sure you don't want to be hanged."

"I don't know yet." Erik answered, unsure of what to do and where to look. He wasn't expecting conversation, and Charles' presence was still unsettling to him. "Somewhere to hide and get food before I do something else."

"You could stay, you know?" Charles offered for the millionth time ever since they first met, his eyes shining just like that first day. Erik's face hardened. "Here you'd have food and work, as well as solace. And a room."

"I'm not one of your kids." Erik almost grunted at him, stressed with the other man's insistence. The corners of Charles' lips tugged down for a moment, almost imperceptibly. "I don't need your pity and I don't need your help."

"I'm not offering you my pity, Erik. I'm offering you a home."

"I don't  _ need _ a home."

"If you insist, my friend…"

Charles got up then, brushing the hay out of his pants as he did so and smiling down at Erik gently, as if Erik hadn't been hostile with him moments ago. That smile always seemed to take Erik by surprise.

"Have a good night. If you leave in the morning before breakfast please put the sheets next to the door."

Erik just watched as Charles left, staring at the now closed door of the barn and wondering why now, after all those years, he was considering staying.

Months later, Erik found himself back to that barn, sharing the space with Charles' goat.

There was heavy rain falling outside, the thick drops of water hitting the wood of the barn loudly as Erik shed some of his soaked clothes, his eyes constantly going to the goat who seemed to stare intently at him. It didn't look pleased with Erik's presence.

"Dear Lord, the sky seems to be falling down." Charles' amused voice came from the barn's door as he entered, a giant smile on his lips as his hair stuck to his forehead, wet with the rain. Erik had just finished taking off his waistcoat when Charles arrived. "Thankfully I managed to keep the food and the clothes dry for you."

Charles stopped as he got close to Erik, noticing the bruise on the side of Erik's face again and making a worried face that made the outlaw harden his expression, waiting for Charles' pity to come. Instead, however, Charles only offered the dry clothes and a towel as well as a folded cloth that seemed to have food inside of it. Erik took it quickly, well aware that he looked like a scared animal, giving Charles a quick thankful nod and putting the food away to look at the clothes. They seemed good enough to fit him.

"How long are you staying?" Charles asked, watching carefully as Erik examined the food he was given. To this day, Erik was still impressed at how Charles managed to find something kosher for him whenever he was around. "You should stay a few nights to heal that bruise."

"Just one night." Erik said quickly, without thinking, only determined in ignoring Charles' offer. "I'll be leaving in the morning."

"Oh." 

The disappointment in Charles' voice made Erik look up again, seeing the other man trying to hide the feeling with a kind smile. Somehow, Erik had seen those eyes enough times to know he wasn't at all pleased with Erik's answer. Erik didn't know if he found that look good or bad.

"I have to go back to the house now." Charles said after a while, looking outside for a moment, at the rain. "I'll send someone to warn you when it's time for dinner."

Erik only nodded again, seeing Charles give him a small smile before leaving the barn, running through the rain until he disappeared. He sighed for a moment, looking at the clothes and the food once more and wondering why he kept running back to Charles everytime. Part of him liked to believe it was because he was able to take advantage of him, that Charles always would give him a place to stay and food to eat if he wanted, and he kept away the knowledge that he liked that place as well. That he liked Charles.

As Erik got ready to shed the rest of his wet clothes, the goat made a noise next to him, scaring him and staring at him before trying to get to Erik's food.

Erik had to give up the hay that night as the goat had to stay in the barn thanks to the rain. The animal seemed to not be very fond of Erik, trying to chew his clothes and screaming at Erik from time to time until Erik had given up and climbed on a higher part of the barn to sleep on a wooden platform. There wasn't any hay up there and the wood was unforgivingly hard, but at least there was a roof over his head and Charles had said he'd come over with warm sheets for him to warm himself with. 

He watched from up there as Charles entered the barn, eyes looking around with confusion on his face as there was no signal of Erik, until he looked up and saw the other man there. Charles' eyebrows immediately shot up, a silent question on why Erik was up there, and Erik only pointed at the goat laying down on the lump of hay Erik would sometimes call a bed. There was an amused smile on Charles' lips then as he stared up at Erik once more, climbing the steps separating the wooden platform from the ground and sitting down with a grunt to place the warm sheets there.

"I'm glad I brought more than one of these now." Charles gave the lump of fabric a little pat, smiling at Erik. "You can put it on the ground to make it more comfortable up here."

"Thank you." Erik mumbled, pulling the sheets closer to him and starting to make his bed — or at least the closest to one he would allow himself to have there.

The whole time, Charles watched. Erik hated being watched like that as he did something, as if he was being evaluated, and soon his movements became mechanical and tense under Charles' gaze. When he finally managed to put the extra sheet straight on the ground, he sat down on it, staring at Charles with a question in his eyes as to why Charles was still there. That seemed to be enough to make Charles realize he was staring.

The man pulled something out of his jacket, a small pot with a weird mixture inside that made Erik frown a little bit. When Charles got closer, invading Erik's personal space, Erik leaned back a bit. Charles, as always, only smiled gently at him. 

"It'll help to heal the bruise on your face." was all the explanation he gave before taking the lid off and scooping some of the green-ish mush inside, ready to put it on Erik's skin.

Erik quickly grabbed Charles' wrist, a fire in his eyes telling Charles not to get close to him, but, to Erik's surprise, all Charles did was roll his eyes.

"Let me, would you?"

"No."

"I'm trying to help."

"I didn't ask for your help."

"I think you did." Charles' voice had some mocking in it, making Erik narrow his eyes at the other man. "The moment you arrived here, completely soaked and with that bruise on your face, looking for a place to hide, was the moment you asked for my help. Now, stop being stubborn, Erik Lehnsherr, and  _ let me help." _

Despite himself, Erik let go of Charles' wrist. A pleased smile appeared on his lips right before his fingers touched the bruised skin, making Erik hiss for a moment until he noticed that the thing Charles was carefully rubbing on his face felt incredibly good and numbing. By his side, as Charles noticed the change in Erik's behavior, he hummed.

"How did you get this one?" there was a pause before Erik finally answered, knowing Charles would probably get the answer out of him one way or another.

"Got hit by a cane." he confessed, feeling Charles' fingers stop for a moment before they were back to spreading the mixture on Erik's skin. "I was trying to get food."

"Stealing it, you mean?" Erik ignored that.

"The owner of the establishment saw. Almost managed to grab me after hitting my face."

"You don't need to steal food, Erik… If you were hungry you could've come here. I could've-"

"It wasn't for me." those words were enough to make Charles stop talking, his fingers finally retreating from Erik's face as he felt the bruise barely hurt anymore. He eyed the pot in Charles' hands with interest, but looked back up at the other man instead. "There was a kid there, she was hungry. When I talked to her she was… she was considering going to the brothel to find a job and get enough money to eat. I couldn't just let her do that."

"And where's the kid?"

"Hidden away. I told her to wait for me and not try anything until I was back. I still managed to get her some food so at least I know she ate something." Charles' eyes were soft over Erik there, making Erik look away as if that look was too much to handle. "I couldn't bring her because I didn't know if they would catch me or not."

"Is there a way you could bring her here? You could go with Darwin in the morning to where she's hidden. I can take care of her here."

"Maybe that's a good idea."

Charles smiled once more, sighing at the whole situation and finally putting the lid on the pot again, and placing it by Erik's side, giving it to him. He made a move to leave Erik's side and leave him alone so he could sleep and, for the first time, Erik had to hold back from reaching to the other man and taking hold of his arm so he wouldn't go. Instead, Erik watched him get up and go to the stairs to climb down again.

"Goodnight, Erik." was all he said as he climbed down and started walking towards the exit.

When Erik was alone again, his fingers touched his bruise for a moment, feeling it still slightly sticky with the mixture Charles had put on him and looking at the pot Charles had left for him there.

It only took a few weeks for Erik to find himself at Charles' farm again. This time, Kitty Pryde was the one who received him with a bright smile from seeing him again.

He had followed Charles' wish of going with Darwin that morning to get Kitty from where he had left the girl hiding, and bid goodbye to her as he watched her going back towards the farm with the other man, sure that Charles would take good care of her. She already seemed better than the last time he saw her.

He wasn't sure how to greet her when she approached him, he had never been very good with other people, let alone with kids like Kitty, but she seemed more than eager to see him again. He tried giving her a smile as he got down his horse, seeing her raise her eyebrows at him while a boy — Sean, if Erik wasn't wrong — readily took the animal to the stables so it could rest.

"I thought I'd never see you again." the girl said, even her voice sounding stronger than the last time. "Let alone see you here." 

"I come here sometimes." was all the explanation he offered, eyes raising as he noticed Charles leaving the front door of the main house, blue eyes immediately meeting Erik's.

"You came at the perfect time." Kitty's voice brought back his attention, seeing a spark in her eyes. "We just made a few apple pies and I think there's enough for you as well."

"And you're doing good here?" he asked, studying the girl's face a moment more. She did seem better than the last time he saw her, less of a weary expression on her face now. 

"I'm great. Better than I've been for a while, actually. Thank you for helping to bring me here…"

"It was nothing, you're welcome."

The whole time, Charles observed from a distance, Erik's eyes meeting him again and watching as the man smiled at him.

When the night came and Charles showed up like he always did with the sheets for Erik to spend the night at the barn, Erik didn't expect to see him drunk.

He hadn't seen Charles drunk in the time they knew each other, so watching as he took less gracious steps than he normally did and seeing his face slightly pink from the alcohol together with his drunken smile made Erik raise his eyebrows. He stayed where he was in his lump of hay — because at this point he had accepted that corner of the barn was his now —, seeing as Charles made his way to him and placed the sheets down, sitting down on the ground more because he fell than because he intended to, a small chuckle leaving his lips.

"There you go, so you don't freeze to death because you refuse a warm bed." Charles said, his voice less slurred than what Erik thought it would be. Erik just took the sheets, pulling them close. "I'm starting to think you like sleeping on the hay."

"It's not that bad."

Charles' shrugged at that, as if he didn't really care about Erik's words, and Erik almost smiled at that.

"Suit yourself. Goodnight, darling." Charles leaned closer after those words, placing a kiss to Erik's lips that made both of them stop after they realized what had happened.

Charles seemed to sober up almost immediately, his eyes going wide and his cheeks going red with embarrassment, and Erik knew he wasn't much different as he stared back at the other man, still feeling the ghost of the kiss on his lips.

"I shouldn't have done that." Charles mumbled, hands moving as if he was getting prepared to get up and leave, until he stopped, staring at Erik's face for a moment more.

When Charles leaned in again, placing another kiss to Erik's mouth, Erik surprised himself by not moving, only staring as Charles seemed to think about something, his brow furrowed as he studied Erik's face. There was another kiss, and then another, and then suddenly Erik was pulling Charles' face closer to keep him there and hearing the other man whimper with the kiss. Charles' lips felt soft and tasted of alcohol.

He couldn't exactly point out the moment where Charles made him lay down on the hay and got on top of him, but he wasn't exactly complaining as he felt Charles straddling his hips and going at his mouth like a hungry man, taking out a few pleased grunts from him. Erik's hands started to roam through Charles' body, feeling him through his clothes and wishing he could feel Charles' skin under his fingertips; he was sure it was soft and would be burning when he touched him, and the idea seemed to make Erik's own skin warmer under the layers of fabric he still wore. 

When one of his hands went to the front of Charles' trousers, the man moaned slightly against his lips. Erik felt himself frown as he noticed no bulge there, but his lack of focus thanks to the situation at hand didn't allow him to think too much about it, feeling his own erection hurting inside his trousers.

However, just as fast as the moment started, it ended as Charles moved away and got up, making Erik shiver at the cold left by the absence of Charles' body. He frowned up at the other man, seeing him panting and his already red lips somehow redder as he looked back down at Erik. He was about to ask what was wrong when he heard Charles mutter a quiet goodnight and leave the barn in a hurry, leaving Erik alone and confused with what had just happened.

Suddenly the hay didn't feel all that comfortable anymore.

The next time Erik saw Charles again wasn't on his farm, wasn't on the barn he had grown familiar with, it was on the gallows as he stood there with the noose already around his throat, his hands tied to his front as he waited for his fate.

He had been caught, his luck finally running out, and he had seen the sheriff smile down at him the day before, with a cigar on his lips as he blew smoke on Erik's face, pleased to finally have Erik locked up after so many crimes committed. Now, Howlett stood in the front row to see his hanging, still looking pleased, even if there was a morbid look in his face.

Erik's eyes moved from him, however, when he noticed someone making their way through the small crowd that gathered to watch him get hanged, and soon he saw it was Charles, looking back at him with wide eyes and a terrified expression. Their eyes met, and Erik finally pitied his end, because now he would give anything to kiss Charles again like he had done months ago, to feel his lips and the heat of his body again. Unfortunately, it was too late for that now, and Erik tried his best to keep that one memory of the kisses they shared in his mind. Something to calm him down as he met his end. 

He watched as Charles tried to step towards the gallows, Erik's fingers unconsciously reaching out for him as he took that step, but Charles was stopped when Logan held his arm, pulling him back again and keeping him closer, muttering something to Charles that made Erik's blood boil. Erik wanted to be the one to be able to touch Charles, to remind his fingertips of the feeling of him, and yet he was there with his hands tied and a rope around his neck.

Their eyes didn't move from each other's, Charles' full of dread and gloom and Erik's calm and dark with the knowledge that this was his end. Erik offered Charles a smile, a tug of his lips, one of the only ones he had ever given the other man for all he remembered, and he watched Charles' expression turn sadder at it. Erik's executioner got his hands on the lever that would open the trapdoor under Erik's feet, that would lead Erik to his death, and the world seemed to slow down for a moment.

All he could see was Charles.

When a building exploded right next to them, the world seemed to go back into place again, maybe even going too fast now.

There were people screaming and running, and Erik lost Charles in the crowd. The man with his hands on the lever suddenly grunted, making Erik look at him only to find out he had been kicked out of the gallows by someone who was now behind Erik. He felt the noose loosen around his neck, enough that he could now get himself away from it, and a knife cut the rope on his wrists with so much precision that Erik didn't know how he didn't get cut in the process. 

When the person doing all of that pulled him from the gallows and made him run, Erik finally noticed it was Raven. 

"Faster, Lehnsherr! We don't have that much time."

He didn't have it in him to disobey.

Raven guided him to two horses at the border of the town, climbing on one and waiting for Erik to do the same with his, and soon they were getting away from the town with apparently no one behind them. Erik was free, and if Raven was the one guiding him they would probably be back at the farm in under an hour. The joy of not being dead and the fact that he would be able to see Charles again seemed to hit him like a brick.

They went the whole way in silence, forcing the horses to run as fast as they could, and soon Charles' farm was visible in the distance, a small smile appearing in Erik's lips as he saw the familiar barn. When inside the lands Charles owned, Erik allowed Sean to take the horse he had ridden away, turning to Raven to thank her properly, when he noticed the woman making her way to the barn in long strides. He frowned at that, but thought that maybe he should follow, and so he did.

"You guys really exploded a building to save me?" Erik finally said after he entered the barn, turning to look at Raven with a grin until he noticed the expression on her face. She seemed like she could skin Erik alive at that moment.

"You will leave tomorrow morning." was all she said, her voice a clear threat.

"What?"

"You'll stay here in this barn for today, you'll let Charles see you're safe, and if he offers you to hide here you'll refuse. You'll leave this farm, Erik Lehnsherr, and God forbid you ever come back here." she took a step forward and, despite himself, Erik took a step back, suddenly wary of the woman. "You are a danger to all of us. If people found out you were hiding here, if they found out Charles was the one who planned your escape from the gallows, he'd be hanged by your side. You will  _ not _ put my brother in danger."

Erik thought about giving her a biting answer back, but he knew she was right. His stay there would only bring Charles trouble, especially now considering what had just happened. The last thing he needed was Charles getting hanged because of him, he had a debt with Charles at this point, so he only gave the woman a nod, seeing some of the hardness turn into a pleased expression.

"I'll bring you water and something for you to wear. Don't leave the fucking barn."

As she left, Erik sat on his lump of hay and ran a hand through his neck, wondering if that was the last time he would see the barn.

When Charles arrived at the barn that night with sheets for Erik like he always did, Erik was almost asleep already. He hadn't gotten enough sleep in the prison cell the night before, the certainty of death making his mind never stop working, and he could feel his body desperate for some rest after the adrenaline of having escaped death finally left his body.

He turned to look at the other man, seeing him with that same gentle smile on his lips that Erik had grown accustomed with. It now brought a warm feeling to his heart, he noticed, and when Charles lowered his body to put the sheets next to Erik, Erik found himself smiling back.

He didn't say anything when he sat up, hand holding the back of Charles' neck before he placed a kiss to Charles' lips. He needed that kiss after earlier in the gallows, needed to feel Charles' lips again before he disappeared from the other man's life, and he felt that simple touch of lips light a fire under his skin. He wanted Charles, he wanted to have him over his body like he did months ago so he could touch him, feel him, and maybe this time undress him and take Charles there. He just  _ wanted. _

Charles parted the kiss quickly, however, eyes wide and moving his body back a little to keep Erik from pulling him back into the kiss, making Erik frown.

_ "Don't." _ there was a warning in Charles' voice that made the frown in Erik's face deepen. "We can't."

"And why not?"

"Because I-" Charles paused, letting out a frustrated huff. Erik watched him close his hands into fists by his sides, clenching and unclenching them as if he was struggling to say something. "I'm not- I don't have-"

_ "What, _ Charles?"

"I should just go…"

Charles made it to get up, ready to run away like he had done months ago, but Erik held his arm before he could fully get up, pulling him back down. Charles seemed like he was scared of something, and something told Erik to thread carefully now. The look on Charles' face was the look of someone who would attack him if he tried something, and that was the last thing Erik wanted.

He moved his hand through Charles' arm lightly, a comforting gesture that didn't seem to work too much with Charles. When he retreated his hand, Charles seemed to relax a bit more.

"I guess saying  _ please _ and  _ thank you _ won't help my case?" he tried, seeing Charles let out an amused smile even if he still looked uneasy.

"It's better if we don't."

"At least tell me why…" Erik asked quietly, Charles' eyes looking away from him. "I almost died today and all I could think about on the gallows was how I regretted that I hadn't been able to kiss you again and seen you naked, touched you."

Erik noticed the shudder that ran through Charles' body, his throat moving as he swallowed, his eyes not going back to Erik.

"Charles?" Erik tried again after a few more moments of silence.

"It's complicated…"

"Try me. I'm not that dumb, you know?"

"I'm… different." Erik narrowed his eyes at that, confused.

"Okay..?"

"I just- My body isn't…" Charles swallowed again, his hands now clenched tight enough that his knuckles turned white. "Well, in a simple way, I don't have a cock."

The words seemed to leave Charles' mouth like they weighed a lot, his voice getting weaker with each word until the last one turned into a whisper. Erik was still looking at him without much understanding of what he meant.

"How can you-"

"I wasn't born with it."

It took a moment, but Erik understood what he meant with those words. His eyes fell to Charles' body for a moment before he stopped, figuring out that Charles would probably take offence on that, and kept his eyes locked on Charles' as he got closer to the other man again. Charles seemed confused with the movement, looking back at Erik with his brow furrowed. 

When Erik kissed him again, Charles pulled back so abruptly that he almost fell down on his back on the ground. He looked surprised more than anything else.

"I just told you-"

"And I still want to touch you." Charles' lips parted at that, still surprised and disbelieving Erik's words. "Now come here so I can do that."

Charles didn't move for a while, only staring, and Erik waited. When Charles jumped onto Erik's arms and kissed him, Erik was the one who fell back on the hay with the force of it, hands quickly moving to hold Charles' middle and pull him close to his body.

Unlike the time months ago, Charles didn't seem like he would pull away again, his mouth attacking Erik's just h the same eagerness Erik had at that moment. This time, Charles' mouth tasted of the coffee they had earlier and a taste that was uniquely  _ Charles', _ and Erik thought he could get used to it.

Charles opened the buttons of Erik's shirt, stopping the kisses to Erik's mouth to kiss his neck and chest, making Erik grunt slightly as he felt Charles' lips on his skin. He tried doing the same to Charles' shirt, feeling Charles stop what he was doing immediately to hold back Erik's hands, a warning in his eyes for him to stop. 

"No." Charles said calmly, shaking his head. "Not the shirt."

Erik understood immediately, nodding and seeing Charles nod back at him, some of the nervousness leaving when Erik complied. He let go of Erik's hands, moving to straddle Erik's hips and sitting on Erik's crotch.

Erik gasped at the pressure against his cock, his head falling back against the hay as he watched Charles shudder before he started rolling his hips. Erik felt like all his blood was going south with that, hands holding Charles' hips as he moved and eyes closing tightly, wishing they had their trousers off for that, but knowing that, if Charles kept going like that, he would end up making a fool of himself in no time.

Thankfully, Charles stopped after a while, making Erik grunt again and open his eyes to see Charles getting up, his face completely red as he panted for air, and for a moment Erik was terrified Charles would run again. Apparently the fear was clear in his eyes as Charles shook his head at him, running his hand through his own hair to take it from his face.

"I just need- Hold on, okay?"

Erik wanted to complain, but he nodded anyway, trying to get his breathing right as he watched Charles turn his back to him. He frowned for a moment while he saw the other man unbuttoning his shirt, letting it fall from his shoulders just enough for Erik to notice the bandages that seemed to be around his body, probably covering his chest. He didn't say anything as he watched Charles slowly take the bandages off, even if he seemed hesitant in doing that. Charles took a deep breath, as if before it had been hard to breathe. When the bandages were completely off, Charles started to button his shirt back up again.

When Charles turned to Erik, his arms were protectively covering his chest, and Erik noticed the volume there now, trying his best to look away. It was clear that it was something he didn't want Erik looking at if him being with his back turned to Erik before and with his shirt on now was any hint. Charles placed the bandages away carefully, his hand still slightly shaking as he did it, and he went back to sitting over Erik's hips, arms never leaving his chest now. 

Erik looked at his face the whole time, his hands moving to run up Charles' thighs for a moment, trying to will away the uncertainty in Charles' eyes. He pulled Charles down for a kiss, hearing the man whimper slightly and move one of his arms to keep himself from falling down completely over Erik. Erik's hands just moved to Charles' hips, starting to thrust up calmly and slowly feeling Charles move as well until they were both panting again. 

Erik rolled them around after a while, knowing that it was bound to get uncomfortable for Charles to hold himself up with just one arm, laying on top of Charles' body and looking down at him for a moment before his mouth went to Charles' neck. Charles sighed pleased, his hand caressing Erik's hair for a moment before he noticed him moving them down their bodies to start taking Erik's pants off of him, unbuttoning them and pushing them down as much as he could together with his briefs. Erik helped him with that, mouth still on Charles' skin, and hands making quick work of Charles' pants as well. 

Charles stilled under him once his pants were off, making Erik stop his kisses to look down at him. There was uncertainty again as Charles looked up, his face tinted red with both embarrassment and arousal, making the freckles on his face stand out a little more. Erik didn't say anything, only moving his hand to Charles' inner thigh before pressing his fingers to Charles' cunt. Charles gasped quietly, eyes widening a little bit as he tried to close his legs against Erik's hand, impossible due to Erik's body between them. 

"Wet." Erik pointed out as he moved his fingers a bit. Charles squirmed a little under him, turning his head away in embarrassment, and Erik pressed a kiss to Charles' cheek. "Beautiful."

Charles turned his face to Erik again, just in time for Erik to place a kiss to his lips as his fingers explored Charles a little more, his thumb moving to press against Charles' clit, drawing out a moan from the man that was quickly muffled by Erik's mouth. When Erik pushed a finger inside, both of them gasped at the feeling, Charles' eyes clouded with pleasure as he tried to move his hips on Erik's hand. Erik felt his own erection twitch with interest at the feeling of his finger moving slowly in and out of Charles, his expression mirroring the one in Charles' face. 

He took his time, even if he felt like he was going to explode if he didn't get his release already, opening Charles carefully as the man moaned and pushed back against his hand, his noises getting louder whenever Erik moved his thumb, and it was almost automatic the way he pulled his fingers out and started to push his cock inside of Charles in one slow continuous motion.

Charles hissed for a moment, throwing his head back against the hay and closing his eyes as Erik felt Charles clench around him, getting used to the stretch, and once again Erik waited. The warmth of Charles' body around him seemed to burn as he forced himself not to thrust. The moment Charles rolled his hips, Erik couldn't hold back the moan that escaped him, eyes closing and mouth hanging open with the pleasure that ran through his body. 

He looked down at Charles for a moment, seeing the other man looking up at him and Erik could swear he never saw anyone quite like Charles in his life. There was a tug in his heart at the thought he would have to leave the next morning, that he wouldn't see Charles again, and he pushed that away by kissing Charles once more and starting to thrust his hips.

He held Charles' body close as he moved, slow at first until both of them seemed to long for more, and he felt shivers running through his body as Charles' hands held him just as close, blunt fingernails digging into Erik's back through the fabric of his shirt. Between the panting and the soft moans, Erik listened closely as Charles left out his name through his lips, sounding like a prayer, and Erik was sure that he himself wasn't much different, saying Charles' name each time a rush of pleasure ran through his body. The hay was poking his arms and legs as he moved, and he knew it was probably worse for Charles, but neither of them seemed eager to stop.

Erik kept his eyes on Charles as he watched the man reach his orgasm, staring in awe at Charles' blissed out expression and the way his body arched slightly with it, his walls clenching around Erik's cock. The sight and the feeling of Charles around him at that moment made a violent shudder run through his body, hips now moving as fast and hard as he could as he seeked his own pleasure. Charles pulled him down for a kiss, one hand on the back of his neck as the other slid down his body to pull his hips even closer, legs wrapping around Erik's body.

When Charles whispered Erik's name against his lips, Erik came, opening his mouth in a silent scream as he heard Charles hum quietly under him, hips moving as Erik kept himself buried inside of him, making Erik shudder a few more times as he tried to recover his breath. 

They looked at each other then, both seemingly in a state of bliss, and the next kiss Erik pressed into Charles' mouth was soft, adoring, a confession of something he didn't have the words to say. 

"Come to bed, Erik." Charles said quietly after, his hand running through Erik's hair once more, taking a few strands from his forehead.

For once, for the last time, Erik agreed. Charles smiled at him.

The next morning, Erik woke up earlier than anyone in the house. His eyes fell to Charles, who slept calmly on the mattress by his side, and he sighed. As he got up and took his belongings to leave the farm, Erik wished for a last kiss before he went.

It took a little over three years for Erik to see Charles' face again.

He had respected Raven's wishes — her  _ threats _ — of staying away from Charles and the farm after he left, running away to somewhere far where he wouldn't be a problem to them anymore, where there wouldn't be a chance that they could've been blamed for Erik's miraculous escape from the gallows. There wasn't a day since he left that he didn't long for Charles, the memory of him always in the back of his mind as a reminder of something he would never have again.

He stayed as an outlaw for the next year, stealing and deceiving to keep himself alive and helping whoever needed his help on the way if the person didn't threaten to take him to the authorities, with no barn to run away now when he was in trouble and needed somewhere to stay. After a while, however, Erik started to settle.

In a town in the middle of nowhere Erik found a job under an alias in case someone there knew his name and who he was, growing a beard just to make sure his face was less recognizable, and soon he became Max Eisenhardt, blacksmith of the town. Working helped him take his mind of the past — of Charles — during the day, and gave him the chance to have a less turbulent life for the time he kept that job.

For the two years he spent in that town, Erik wondered if he should settle completely there, maybe marry and start a family if he found a woman or just find a man he could love enough to not want to leave his side; make his roots in that place that was slowly becoming his house. But, as much as Erik tried, no one seemed to be the right person, no one caught his interest or made him believe he could have a life with them. At night, he'd lay in bed and pretend he found someone, and everytime his mind would go back to Charles and his gentle smile.

For a long time, he regretted not staying, but he knew he couldn't have stayed if he wanted Charles and the kids to be safe.

One day, he looked at the small town he now lived in and felt empty, the work wasn't able to distract him anymore and the people felt bland to him already, so he took his things and the money he had and left at night, wandering through the land in search of something new. Maybe he'd find another town and start his business there, maybe he'd try a new work for once, whatever helped to fill the emptiness he felt.

He liked to think it was coincidence when he realized he knew where he was after a week of traveling, that the road to his right led him to Charles' farm, but he knew he had gone that way for a reason, and nothing stopped him from turning to the right and going in the direction of the farm. He just needed to see Charles again, see how he was, and maybe he could go on with his life after that.

The sun was high in the sky when he reached the gates, seeing a few people still working on the soil and wiping sweat off of their brows, eyes turning to Erik as they saw him arriving. Some of them widened their eyes, apparently recognizing him, but, as he climbed down his horse, Erik's eyes went directly to the main house's front door.

Charles was coming out of the main house, a small child running behind him as he went. There was a basket in his hands that he handed to someone before he turned to the small child, who raised their arms up in a clear wish to be picked up. Charles did, smiling down at the kid and picking them up in his arms right before his eyes turned towards Erik's direction.

As their eyes met, Erik felt the urge to run to him, to kiss him again like he had done three years ago, and he wondered if Charles would allow him to stay. If Charles made the offer now like he did many times before, Erik knew he would stay gladly, would find his place in that farm and never leave again, and he hoped Charles would welcome him with open arms.

Erik watched as Charles placed the kid back down, noticing that Raven was there now and grabbed the kid's hand when they tried to follow Charles, probably wanting to be picked up again. Erik started to walk towards Charles as Charles walked towards him, feeling like he wasn't able to breathe right anymore as he waited to feel Charles' arms around him once more after so long.

When the punch came, Erik was completely caught off guard.

Charles managed to hit him right on the side of his face, his vision going blurry for a moment as he fell to the ground with the force of it, and when he managed to look up again Charles seemed like he could step on him and end his life at that moment. The magic of being back crumbled down as he watched the rage in Charles' eyes and felt his face hurting still with the punch, not daring to get up from the ground as he felt that any abrupt movement could make Charles strike another hit to his face.

"What-"

"I should throw you the fuck away from my lands, Erik Lehnsherr." Charles practically growled at him, making Erik close his mouth immediately. "What the  _ hell _ are you doing back here after three years?"

"I thought… I was nearby and I wanted to visit."

"Oh, you wanted to  _ visit." _ there was venom in Charles' words, making Erik swallow. That wasn't how he expected that meeting to go at all. "God forgive me but I could  _ kill _ you right now, Erik."

"I think I'd rather you didn't." Erik tried, raising his hands in surrender before pointing at the child on the front porch of the house, looking at everything with curious eyes as Raven still held onto their hand tightly. "Besides, there's a child watching. I don't think that'd be good for them to watch."

Charles' face changed then, the rage giving place to a worried expression, and he looked back at the child for a moment. Nothing happened for a few seconds, but Erik kept himself on the ground, sitting down and waiting for something.

"Go to the barn. We can talk there." Charles said after a while, still facing the kid.

When he walked away, Erik took it as his cue to get up and obey, brushing off the dirt from his pants before he made his way to the barn, all eyes on him. For a moment, his eyes met Kitty Pryde's, the girl now looking less like a child than when he had last seen her, and the look in her eyes was enough to let him know a lot had changed while he was away.

When he entered the barn, he saw that at least that hadn't changed much, a smile crossing his lips with the memories it brought him. The smile faded when he remembered the look in Charles' eyes, all hopes that he would be with Charles again gone by his reaction. Once more, Erik regretted leaving. 

He sat on a haystack after a moment, sighing and massaging the side of his face that still seemed to be pulsating from the punch he received before, his eyes rising when he noticed someone entering the barn. He frowned when he noticed it was the little kid he had seen before. 

Charles usually didn't take kids that age to be on the farm, at least not that Erik remembered, but the toddler was there, running towards him with uneven steps as he — it was a little boy apparently — made his way to Erik. He stopped in front of Erik, one small hand holding onto Erik's leg to keep his balance as his eyes raised to Erik's face. They had different colors, one a deep cerulean while the other was a light olive green that seemed mixed with some very light blue, almost like Erik's own.

"Punch!" he said confidently, pointing at Erik's face before lowering his hand again. He seemed to smile at himself after saying the world.

"Punch." Erik agreed, seeing the boy smile wider, and something in his smile seemed weirdly familiar.

"There, there." the boy said, patting Erik's knee as if he was trying to comfort Erik. That was enough to make Erik smile, the child's attempt of empathy and his slurred voice trying to say the words warming Erik's heart for a moment. "The pain will go. Daddy will say sorry."

Erik frowned at his words, blinking a bit at the boy and seeing him smile up at Erik again.

"Who's your dad?" there was a weird feeling at the bottom of his stomach as he asked that, as if he knew the answer already. The boy's blue eye and his smile seemed too similar to Charles' now that he thought about it.

The kid didn't have the chance to answer, Charles appearing at the barn with a worried look as his eyes went straight to the boy, ignoring Erik completely.

"David, oh my God." Charles said breathlessly, the boy running happily to Charles and laughing a bit as he did it. Charles picked him up immediately when he was close, taking a relieved breath when he hugged the boy. "I told you not to run away from me and aunt Raven already."

"I wanted to meet the man!" David had only excitement in his voice, but Charles' eyes met Erik's with hesitation.

That was enough of an answer for Erik's questions, feeling his head become lighter as the realization of who the boy was hit him. He seemed to have the right age, and now that he looked and thought about it he could see some similarities. He felt his hands grow cold as his mind tried to tell him he was reading too much into it.

"Go back to aunt Raven. I'll be back soon."

Charles placed a kiss on the boy's head before putting him on the ground, watching as he ran away to go back to Raven as he was told. When David was already far away, Charles didn't turn to him, everything about him seemingly tense. 

"He's yours." Erik said, needing some kind of confirmation. Charles' muscles tensed even more at those words. "And he's mine."

"No." Charles finally turned again, rage back on his face as he stared at Erik. "You weren't here. He's  _ my _ son."

"Charles-"

"You went away…" Charles' voice wavered, the rage turning into sadness for a moment as he took a few steps towards Erik. "You took your things and went away without even saying goodbye!"

"I couldn't stay."

"You could, you fucking wanker. You could have stayed!" 

"Raven-"

"I am well aware of what Raven said to you, she told me when I figured out I was expecting your child and you weren't coming back here." his voice was louder now, hands clenched by his sides as if he was holding himself not to jump onto Erik. "Great time for you to start listening to people, wasn't it?"

"If I had stayed you'd be in danger." Erik argued, his voice now raising as well, making Charles' face harden even more. "If the sheriff had found me here you could've been hanged with me!"

"I don't care, Erik! I don't care about the danger that I could've been in if you had stayed! You fucked me, you asshole. You fucked me and ran away for  _ three fucking years!" _ his voice was now a full on scream, and Erik knew that anyone nearby would be able to hear him. He just hoped that the others had left when they noticed the argument. "I thought you were staying… Heavens, I thought you'd at least be back after a few weeks! But no, you ran away to God knows where and I had to deal with the fact that I had a child growing inside of me. Can you even imagine the hell I went through, Erik?"

Erik closed his mouth once more, looking at how Charles' eyes filled with tears. Every word, every gesture Charles made, seemed like something he had kept inside for far too long — for three years now — and Erik knew that nothing he tried to say would make Charles stop. There were things left to say, and Erik would let him say them even if they felt like a knife going through his skin.

"I had to hide for months, couldn't leave the house when it started showing that I was pregnant because if they saw… If they figured out what I am they'd hang me." Charles' voice was low now, his eyes growing distant, as if the memories were coming back. "I had to look at myself and see my body changing in the worst ways possible. For a few months I thought you'd come back, that maybe you'd be here with me through this, but then Raven told me what she said to you and I swear, Erik, I felt like I was going to die at any second. Life became a nightmare for the most part, I didn't even have my sister through it because I was still so mad... And then I went into labor and  _ God, _ I hated you, I swear I did. I cursed your name a million times before David was born and a million more after."

Erik clenched his jaw, eyes leaving Charles as he felt his breathing picking up as Charles talked. His voice was broken and angry, so much sorrow behind the words that they seemed to hurt Erik each time one left his mouth. He wished to be able to go back in time, to change his decisions, to be with Charles through it all, but he couldn't. Instead, he had to see Charles there, three years after the last time they saw each other, angry and bitter at him, and he knew he deserved every word.

"Even after David was born I had to hide, and I was lucky that the people around me either knew about me or learned after and helped me with the baby. I made peace with Raven before David was born and she kept me on my feet, because  _ God knows _ I wasn't prepared for that, Erik." he looked back at Charles at the sound of a sniff, seeing the other man was already crying and wiping his tears away. "At the same time you gave me David. I love him more than I thought I could, even if the process of having him was less than enjoyable. And I hated you even more whenever I saw you on him, because David would never meet you. And now you come here, three years later as if nothing happened, and I thought I had left those feelings behind but I  _ still _ want to punch your face."

"Well, at least you did get a punch." Erik's voice was weak as he said that, trying to lighten the situation even if he wasn't able to smile himself.

Charles only sighed, tired, his eyes leaving Erik, and suddenly he looked older there, weary with everything he had to go through. Erik couldn't even begin to imagine what Charles had to face, remembering how he had hidden his chest from Erik that night three years ago, seeing how he still hid it, the bandages probably still under his clothes as they talked. He couldn't imagine what it felt like for Charles to have to see his body the way he didn't want to see it for months, let alone take care of a child by himself, even if the people around him had apparently helped.

He ended up sighing as well, feeling now that he had left too much behind that morning when he left, and that maybe he wouldn't be able to get it back again. His thoughts were interrupted, however, by Charles' voice, still quiet and uncertain.

"Where did you go?"

"Far away." Erik's voice had the same tone as Charles', afraid to say the wrong thing. "I settled after a year, got a job… Stopped needing a barn to hide."

Charles stayed silent again, eyes still not meeting Erik's.

"What did you think of him?" Charles didn't need to specify who he was talking about, Erik's eyes moving to the barn door as if little David would come back running at any moment.

"He's beautiful." he said, eyes going back to Charles as their gazes finally met again, Charles' blue eyes seemingly expecting Erik's words like he needed them. "He tried to comfort me because you punched me, clearly he took that from you."

Charles was breathing heavily, apparently holding back tears as a small smile appeared on his lips, a ghost of the gentle smile he used to give Erik.

"He's three?"

"In a few weeks." Charles confirmed. Erik nodded.

"He has my eyes and yours…"

"He's different." Charles nodded once more, voice now softer as he talked about the boy. "He's my son after all."

"He's wonderful." Erik concluded, seeing Charles nod in agreement. "And I'm sorry. I know it's not worth much, but I am."

"I know." Charles lowered his eyes, blinking a few times and wiping the tears away from his eyes again. "Stay. At least until his birthday. Let him know you for at least this much time…"

"I thought you would want me to leave…"

"Part of me does." Charles took a deep breath, shaking his head and closing his eyes as if he was trying to calm down. "But as much as I hate it, he  _ is _ your son. You're his father as much as I am, even if you weren't here to raise him. Even if he doesn't know that, he deserves to know you, and you deserve to know him as well."

Erik stared at the other man for a moment more, seeing how much he was fighting to keep a strong stance there, even if his eyes weren't meeting Erik's anymore. For a moment he fought the urge to reach out, to pull Charles close and hold him. He was sure Charles wouldn't like that very much at that moment.

"I'll stay." Erik said for the first time, Charles' eyes rising again to look at him. "I promise."

Charles nodded, letting out a breath through his mouth as a quick smile graced his lips. Erik seemed to be longing to see Charles smile again, and it pained to think that maybe he wouldn't, not at him.

"Will you take a room or will you sleep in the hay again?" the mocking in his voice was light-hearted, making Erik smile for a moment.

"I think this time I'll take the room."

Erik found himself in love with David within days. The boy seemed to have endless energy, running around the farm with someone after him to try and keep him from getting hurt at all times, constantly asking questions or trying to talk even if his words were still complicated to understand, and he didn't take long to latch onto Erik. 

As Erik helped Darwin on the field, he saw the little boy running towards them, falling a few times thanks to the bumps on the soil, both Darwin and Erik stopping to look as he tried to get closer.

_ "E-rik!" _ he screamed, the 'r' sounding like a 'w' when he talked, making Erik smile immediately. "Shoulders!"

He had found out that Erik was taller than most people there, and had taken great pleasure in asking to be on Erik's shoulders all the time, laughing and asking Erik to walk around with him. Erik did it when he wasn't too tired, not only for the boy's entertainment but because he could see a smile appear on Charles' lips each time, even if the other man tried to hide it.

Behind David, Erik finally noticed Kitty running to get to the boy, panting just as much as David was. When David reached Erik and grabbed his leg, Kitty stopped to breathe, looking up at him with her eyebrows up. He smiled at her, looking down at his son — and that was still a hard thing to grasp — and patting his hair. It was dark and soft like Charles'. 

"I can't right now, David. I'm working." he said calmly, seeing the boy pout. "You should go with Kitty."

"But I want to be with you!"

"We can play before dinner. What do you think?"

David stared at him for a moment more, blue and green eyes thoughtful, before he nodded and ran back to Kitty. She took him in her arms with a relieved sigh and smiled at Erik for a moment.

"He's faster than he looks."

On David's birthday, Erik finally fully felt the pain of not being there for so long, seeing the boy happily clapping as everyone sang him happy birthday, Charles holding him in his arms and singing to him with a giant smile on his lips, and he had to leave the house after to breathe. He felt his body shaking slightly, the need to cry high but no tears coming to him.

He had a son, and if he hadn't accidentally decided to see Charles again after years away, he wouldn't have known about David. The thought of leaving again hurt more than anything Erik had felt.

After a few minutes, someone left the house searching for him, and he found himself staring at a confused Charles there as he tried not to have a full breakdown.

"Don't make me go away." Erik asked, begged almost, breathing shakily. Charles' eyes widened with his words. "I'll do anything, I can even sleep in that barn so you won't see my face, but  _ please _ don't ask me to leave. I can't leave David now that I've met him, and I can't leave you again..."

Erik thought Charles would laugh at him, that he would say that Erik couldn't stay and break Erik's heart into a million pieces because he knew he wouldn't go against Charles' wishes, as much as he hated the idea of leaving now more than ever. So, when Charles walked to him and kissed him, Erik almost didn't believe it.

"If you left again I'd kill you myself." Charles said after parting the kiss, eyes on Erik's as Erik left out a sound of disbelief, a smile showing up in his face. "I have good aim, I could end you if you tried to leave us again, Erik Lehnsherr."

Erik laughed, pulling Charles closer and finally feeling the tears coming, holding Charles' face in his hands before kissing him again, feeling like he had missed that for his whole life.

As the sun started to set, Erik heard David laughing happily as he walked back from the field with the child on his shoulders. His eyes met Charles' as the other man stood there at the front porch, leaning against the wood of the railing, a gentle smile on his lips that Erik had seen before but that he would never tire of seeing, making him smile back.

There was no rush in him as he walked because he knew Charles would be there at the end of the path, because Erik knew that, after all that time, he would stay.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Kuddos are more than appreciated and keeps an author's soul alive. Even a "❤️" or "+kuddos" are valid and will make me happy. ❤️
> 
> Find me on [tumblr](http://hellfre.tumblr.com) and [twitter](http://twitter.com/hllfire)!


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